Former Banker Becomes A Buddhist Nun After Almost Being Killed In A Gun Attack

A Former City banker became a Buddhist nun after almost being killed in a violent gun attack. Emma Slade had her life turned upside down by the terrifying ordeal and when the terrors became too much, she found light in an unlikely place...Read her story after cut

 

The man with the gun pushed me down onto the carpet. I tried to cower, covering my head. ‘Oh, God, please don’t kill me,’ I begged. That moment changed my life forever.

I worked for an investment bank and earned a good salary. It was September 1997 and I was on a business trip in Jakarta, Indonesia, staying in a hotel when I heard a knock at the door. I’d just changed into my swimsuit to go to the pool, so I slipped on a dressing gown. I opened the door and felt a gun being pushed into my chest.

Shocked, I stumbled backwards into the room, the man placed his hand over my mouth and pushed me down onto the carpet, standing over me with the gun. Rigid with fear, I realised there was no way out. He grabbed my wallet and watch – and began to pace the room.

Suddenly there was a bang on the door. He pointed at it, wanting me to open it. As I did, I could feel the gun pointing into my back. I peeked round the door, and a hotel staff member asked, ‘Is everything OK, madam?’ I wanted to scream, ‘THERE IS A MAN WITH A GUN IN MY BACK!’ But all that came out was, ‘Yes.’

The door closed and I started to panic. The man paced the room for a full three hours while I trembled on the floor. He then signalled for me to move towards the door. He said, ‘We walk to the lift and leave. We go together.’

A new fear took hold. Where was he taking me? With the gun still digging into my back, I opened the door and noticed police in khaki uniforms lining the corridor. It was my chance. Heart thumping, I ran. As gun shots rang out behind me, I darted as quickly as I could. One officer grabbed me and I was led to safety. Apart from a few grazes, I was unharmed.

The police said the man was a gambler and would be sent to prison for what he did. They showed me a photo of him after he’d been shot in the lobby. He was slumped against the wall wearing just his underpants, badly injured, surrounded by blood. I was shocked. He looked so vulnerable. Shaken, exhausted and confused, I felt no anger, just sorrow, which surprised me.

I went back to work, but couldn’t sleep and had constant nightmares. I jumped a mile if someone came up behind me. If someone reached into their jacket for a wallet, I’d think it was a gun. The difficulty of holding down the job while suffering constant flashbacks left me shattered. I struggled to even read or write because I felt so stressed. Trying to keep going made it worse. I came close to slamming a car into a wall at one point. It felt like the terrors would never end.

I was diagnosed and treated for severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but discovered yoga and meditation, which helped me relax. By that point my idea of success really changed. I became a yoga teacher and took an interest in Buddhism, which made me realise it wasn’t material wealth that was going to bring me happiness. I wasn’t sure what I’d gain by becoming a Buddhist, but the more I learnt about it, the more it made sense.
I was 39 and in a relationship with a man called Peter. We tried for a baby, but I was told I couldn’t have children. We then split up and my self-esteem was on the floor.

I bought a new suit and went back to work in The City. Then I met Mark. We had a lot in common, but the relationship only lasted a few weeks, when out of the blue I discovered I was pregnant. Oscar was born on 14 September 2006 and Mark helped in every way. I went back to teaching yoga. I was knackered, I was 40 and struggled with being a new mum. But the more I practised Buddhism, the calmer I started to feel.

I’d always wanted to go to Bhutan and in 2011, when Oscar was five, I went on a two-week trip. I spoke to a Lama of a temple and he was so kind and inspiring. I felt really at home in the stillness of the Himalayan mountains, so with Oscar safely with Mark, I went back at Christmas. I tracked down the Lama, and for a few weeks he became my teacher.

But by the time I went back to Bhutan a year later, the next stage was to shave my head. It felt a natural thing to do. Plus, I never have a bad hair day!

In 2012, I took a vow of celibacy and became the only Western woman to be ordained a Buddhist nun in Bhutan. It did take some courage to be celibate. I enjoyed sex and always imagined I’d get married, but it’s been more difficult giving up a glass of wine after a stressful day. I’ve also given up make-up and beauty products, but I still have treats. I’m a vegetarian anyway, but I have a fridge full of chocolate and sweets. I have no clothes apart from my robes and sandals. I sold my jewellery and £10,000 wardrobe and set up a charity in Bhutan.

Culled from Mirror Online